(written in May and June 2020)
Good thing I know how to sew. Lol.
I am a homemaker and for years I have needed to work because of debt I went into. I had planned on being out of debt by the end of the school year, and take back my place as a stay-at-home mom and wife. I also had some mental health issues that were deep and needed to be taken care of so I sought out treatment. That treatment, affected my memory, energy level, and ability to handle certain situations. For the last 2 years, my homemaking skills have been really lacking. They weren’t the greatest in the first place, but that is another story and problem I will address in another post.
If I couldn’t deal with it, it got stuck down in the craft room or storage room. I did the bare basics and my family helped out a lot. I did have two part-time jobs. I was barely getting by and usually, I was mentally and emotionally done at the end of the day.
Those treatments were about every week or two and gradually were able to advance to about every 5 to 6 weeks, which is a great accomplishment. Disclaimer; the treatment I do, does not help everyone, nor everyone in the same way. I’m not going to go into what the treatment is as it is controversial, and I would rather not discuss that right now. If you are curious, go ahead and email me at [email protected].
After a ‘treatment’, I have found that it takes about two weeks to get my energy up to where I like it. When it’s up I can get a lot more done around the house. Am I really good at it? NO, I am not. I can really tell though, that my energy and my ability to get more done has improved during the last 4-6 months of the year.
At the beginning of this year, boy I was doing well. I was making a lot of plans of what I was going to get done. Whereas before, I had absolutely no desire to even plan, I was getting tired of the chaos.
So, jump to spring break that came shortly after the pandemic was getting going and the earthquake that happened in our town/valley. A much-needed break and time to get things done. In a text I sent to one of my sons I wrote:
–-I’m liking this ‘being at home cooking meals and taking care of my family thing’. I see that I have really had my priorities where they shouldn’t have been. Making the excuse ‘I have bills to pay.’ Cuz the truth of the matter is, those bills should have been paid off by now.
I know I will need to go back to working more, when dad/my husband is unable to work, because of his neuropathy, which shouldn’t be until February of 2021 at the furthest and hopefully no sooner than the fall.
Then the pandemic and the shutdown hit. I lost my job at the theater and I was working just during the day. The rest of the school year was canceled, but luckily we were able to do grab-and-go lunches for kids, similar to the summer feeding program except they were able to take the food home rather than need to eat at the sites. Not working nights, opened the opportunity to get more done around the house, and I did.
I had gotten the garage cleaned out, and I mean CLEANED out. I pulled things out, swept, threw away, reorganized, moved things to either the place it was supposed to go in the house or found a new home for it. It was hard work but very satisfying.
With the plan of finding a new place for some items, I created a garden shed, for fertilizers, peat moss, garden hoses, large and small pots, fencing, and the such using our old dog run with a tarp attached for a roof, and a farm shed next to the chicken run, for you guessed it, all of our farm supplies, such as the chicken plucker, bedding bins, food buckets, beekeeping supplies, and anything else farm related that needed a new home. It made it easier to find things, let alone get to it, in the garage, the new garden shed, and the new farm shed.
I also cleaned out and redid the porch room and food rooms. It was too hard to find things and too hard to ask people to get things, let alone put groceries away. It was also very dark to see some of the shelves, so we rearranged them to aid in the problems mentioned above. Doing that freed up two shelves to be moved into the porch room so we didn’t need to set boxes and cases on the floor. Things were more spacious, and while there was more that I want to do, later on, it was so much better than before and it felt less chaotic.
Then, there was the list of what I was going to get done this summer as well. I knew I needed to be smart with my time, gardening and yard work in the morning and late evening, then doing inside work when it was hot out.
I really wanted to spend time with Charly, crafting, talking, going places close by and just being together. This is her last summer before she graduates and who knows what life will bring for either of us. I wasn’t planning on doing the summer feeding program for the school district, so we could have that time.
Then things changed, and Bill needed to stop working in May. I now need to work during the summer instead of what I had planned. A wonderful surprise happened when my job at the theater opened back up at the end of June giving me an opportunity for more needed hours and income at night. In addition to the Covid precautions, a shift for the security desk opened for us to check temperatures and writing down names and times of arrival and exiting, so even more, much-needed hours in the afternoon at the theater.
What an absolute blessing these jobs were.
The downside to this change is I do not have the time nor energy to take care of as much as I would like. Bill is helping as he can, to which I am grateful, but he can only stand and walk for so long then needs to put his feet up and rest.
I am the homemaker and feel that my apron strings have been cut. I try to cook from scratch. Summer dinners like sandwiches, fruit, and veggies, as it is too hot to cook. Heartwarming meals in the colder months. The general meal plan is, something nice for Sunday dinner, medium nice for Monday, hot dogs on Tuesday, leftovers on Wednesday, Pizza on Friday, and whatever on Thursday and Saturday.
I wanted to do much more cooking. I prefer “Homemade Meals” for my family, plus I wanted to try fermenting veggies, making different kinds of vinegar, sourdough, and more. Stay tuned for blogs on those topics.
There is a lot of deep cleaning that needs to be done, downsizing as we have so many things that we don’t use or do not need. Again doing things that I have not been able to do for so long.
I know that I need to take joy in the journey. Even the turns that take me in a direction I hadn’t planned, but are necessary and essential.
My husband had worked really hard to take care of our family over the years. He sacrificed and missed a lot, due to his schedule. I love having him home more. I’ve waited for this day of having him home more, for so long, but not quite like this. When we were a little older. This is a really hard time for him as well. He loved his job driving a truck and was good at it. 30 years. He wanted to take care of his family. Not put the burden on me.
Whatever the Lord gives us, we need to look at as opportunities for learning and growth and have gratitude for such and faith to get through it.
There are times and seasons for all things and this is my season to earn the income for my family until my husband learns a new skill in order to get the employment he desires and that we will need.
This too is part of homemaking or rather keeping a home. So really, my apron strings aren’t cut completely. I just have a few more tools to add and do the best I can with the ones I already have, until I can use them more completely, even if it’s not in this life.
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